Episode 52*: Joy Ride

**“Everyone needs a break once in a while!”**

It’s easy to take for granted how crazy a character’s life can get
in serialized television, and the toll that it might take on an actual person.
This goes double for cartoon characters, whose medium gives them an extra layer
of separation from reality than their live action counterparts. Full Disclosure, which was written to immediately
precede Joy Ride, revolves around the immediate aftermath of
one crazy event. Now it’s time to see how the rest of Season 1B has affected
Steven Q. Universe.

And who better to sit down and reflect with than the realist
humans this side of Ocean Town? The Cool Kids make a triumphant return to bring
a much-needed outside perspective and help their unlikely friend, just in time
to remind me how much I’d love to see more of them. It might be unrealistic for
three teens to go through such lengths to chill with a much younger kid, but
the teenage dialogue flows so naturally that it balances right out. This is
extra impressive when you consider that Buck is portrayed by storyboarder and
rookie voice actor Lamar Abrams and Sour Cream is just Brian Posehn using his
regular grown man voice. These kids have no business lugging around this much
verisimilitude, but I never get tired of watching them shoot the breeze.

Joy Ride wisely
keeps its focus on Jail Break’s
destruction at its onset, showing just how monumental the finale was (we
already had an entire aftermath episode, now this!) and how much work it takes
to get things back to normal. We’ve dealt with the emotional effects, more or
less, but now it’s time for the legwork; Steven even gets to show off his
casual super-strength as he shovels a massive chunk of debris from the sand.

Despite my aforementioned hesitance to believe how much they
want to hang out with a child, even a child as great as Steven, it does make sense for the Cool Kids to show up. The beach is
the epicenter of a cosmic disaster, of course teenagers want to
check this out. That they see how hard Steven’s working and shift
gears to help him out speaks to the kindness they exuded in Lars and the Cool Kids, and that their idea of help
involves throwing someone else’s pizza at his window and sneaking him out
speaks to how wonderfully dumb teenagers can be.

Most of the episode from here is the four of them chatting, and
there’s really nothing more we need when the writing’s this good. The venting
sequence is a thing of beauty. Sour Cream feels that his passion is being
stifled by a parent figure that doesn’t understand him. Mayor Dewey, who we
know has been stingy with his daddy kisses (ugh, that phrase sounds so creepy
when Lamar Abrams isn’t saying it), continues to be stern with Buck. And while
we know from past and future episodes that Jenny gets along with Kiki, she also
seeks an independent identity from her twin. These are all valid concerns!

In fact, Steven’s initial complaint is the one that seems
pettiest: that he’s grounded from television. A huge deal for him, sure, but
pretty tame compared to adolescent family tension. Yet the Cool Kids nod with
sympathy and don’t try and belittle his situation.

The reason I love this writing is that I can easily imagine a
situation where the teen’s problems are trivial, or they follow Steven’s
complaint with another “oh please” or “you think that’s bad?”, and it would still be a decent scene!
There’s nothing wrong with teenagers griping about nothing and trying to one-up
each other, because teenagers do that all the time. But
the crew puts in the work to give our Cool Kids real issues, and remembers that
they brought Steven along to help him out, and they’re all the more lovable for it.

Then of course Steven gets to unload about the Gems, beginning
with things we know and ending with the brilliant reveal that Steven’s more aware
than he’s been letting on. He knows that in
some dark way, the Crystal Gems blame him for the loss of their leader and
loved one. And that’s exactly why
he’s never mentioned it before, because how do you even broach that subject?

Again, the Cool Kids are nothing but helpful, not only
sympathizing with him but praising his resilience. But because these are still
realistic teens, they immediately get distracted by a weird glow in the fields and scramble
to investigate. As in Lars and the Cool
Kids, Steven’s wary of humans messing with Gem stuff, and the teenagers
don’t care. Their escape pod antics escalate naturally, stopping at the
all-important selfie stage before Steven is coaxed into getting inside (the use of Jenny’s photos to show the pod screen closing is a neat visual touch).

There’s peer pressure here, sure, but the Cool Kids are still
trying to help. Steven entering the device doesn’t make him the butt of a joke,
it makes him awesome, and like Jenny says, he really needs to have some fun like this after episode after episode
full of Gem trauma, dread, and the invasion. Even if they discourage him from being responsible, they never resort to tropey negativity (calling him a buzzkill, etc.) while egging him on.

All this kindness is great, but conflict has to come around sooner or later, and as amazing as it would be to see these four taking on Peridot, it’s the Crystal Gems who
crash the party. We’ve only seen bits and pieces of their lives without Steven around (or rather without them knowing Steven’s around) prior to the invasion, and lately they’ve been showcases of how
scared they could get. Here instead we have a glorious moment of Garnet in full badass
mode, her righteous fury unrestrained by Steven’s tempering nature. Does it
make sense that her future vision didn’t inform her that Steven’s inside? Nope!
But getting these new perspectives on established characters is worth a little
suspension of disbelief.

I love that it’s Jenny who stands up to Garnet, for three
reasons. First, she’s the only one of the Cool Kids who’s actually met the Crystal Gems on the show (give or take an infant Sour Cream), so it makes sense
that she’s a little braver around them than her friends. Second, she’s the Cool
Kids’ mirror of Amethyst (just as Buck resembles Garnet and Sour Cream resembles Pearl), so who better to argue the merits of fun? And third, she knows the value of
taking a break far better than Buck and Sour Cream; she’s the
only one of them with a job, and we usually see her when she’s on the clock.
Her work ethic might not be terrific (see: Kiki’s
Pizza Delivery Service, and also that time she let her friends throw a customer’s
pizza at a kid’s window), but the pressure of helping a family business stay
afloat is sure to make her relate the most to Steven’s situation.

And really, how great is Jenny? She throws herself in front of a
punch that could sink a friggin battleship and initiates a talking-down of all three Crystal Gems without a second thought.
Buck and Sour Cream might get more laughs, but between her boldness and her facilitating both of the episode’s titular joy rides by driving the car and prompting Steven to enter the pod, Jenny’s the real hero here.

Steven’s ungrounding is a long time coming, and I appreciate
that its impact isn’t immediately felt; his ability to watch television again won’t be all that important until Cry for Help. It’s just one last moment of kindness in a surprisingly upbeat episode about teens working through their problems (and remember, at age thirteen Steven’s technically a teen here!). After so many episodes about fighting, it’s just nice to relax a little.

Future Vision!

Jenny isn’t kidding about metal concerts, which become a weirdly important plot point in Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service.
You really wouldn’t think that the diamond-shaped impact crater of Peridot’s pod would matter too much outside of Homeworld symbolism, but you’d be wrong! How else could you used a crashed ship to play baseball?

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Another case where the High School AU gives us the main promo image, but Hilary Florido generously provided another image for the episode that now doubles as a wonderful tribute to the late Prince.

I guess you could read it that way…

Probably the biggest change in the order shift is moving Shirt Club behind Joy Ride; I definitely remember being confused about how cold Buck was to Steven so soon after being buddy buddy. Buuuut this behavior is essentially just as confusing before Joy Ride, considering how nice Buck’s been regardless, and it’s nice to see more of him and his dad individually before bringing them together for Shirt Club.
(Still, I can imagine a lot of folks don’t like the shift for this reason.)
Sour Cream’s reveal that Yellowtail is his stepfather backs up the hint from Story for Steven that Marty and Vidalia are his parents. This isn’t affected too much when Joy Ride is watched first, but it’s worth noting.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

An episode with Cool Kids and no Lars? Sign me up! As a breather episode it’s not quite as memorable as its bombastic brethren, but it’s important to appreciate the value of hanging out.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour
Maximum Capacity
The Test
Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Future Vision
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power
Full Disclosure
Joy Ride

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
Open Book

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 51*: Open Book

“WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT”

I’ve mentioned before, particularly in Open Book’s sister episode Marble Madness, that I’m a children’s librarian by trade (surprise, someone writing about youth media is interested in youth media). The passion that consumes Connie when talking about her favorite series is something I’m therefore accustomed to, both as a reflection of myself and as the ideal reaction of one of my kids. Still, while sheer enthusiasm may be wonderful in real life, it makes for a pretty dull plot if left unattended, and I love how Marble Madness and Open Book manage to show two distinct ways nerding out can go wrong.

Connie’s past frustration with Steven’s lack of shared fervor and familiarity with book series basics like reading in order (unlike cartoon series, which can apparently be watched in a variety of orders, ahem) is enough to fill a subplot, but Open Book needs to be fueled by the kind of rage that fans reserve for the content itself. And sure enough, Connie’s minute-long rant about the ending of The Spirit Morph Saga is a thing of beauty. Seriously, I checked, she’s rambling for fifty-eight seconds, nearly a tenth of the episode’s total runtime.

What she, and perhaps we, don’t notice is that Steven isn’t on the same page. It’s easy to attribute his grimace with Connie’s general zeal rather than a firm disagreement, and said zeal is endearing to nerds like us, making it just as easy to forgive her for not genuinely asking for Steven’s opinion. But this is a series about empathy, and Connie’s definitely in the wrong here.

Far from making her a monster, or even a jerk, this mistake humanizes Connie as any good narrative mistake does: I’m sure we’re all guilty of going on and on about something we love without paying enough attention to the person we’re talking at. It adds a subtle lesson to an episode that doesn’t spare much time for subtlety, a lesson that fans of all ages could stand to hear more.

Mind you, just because Open Book isn’t very subtle doesn’t mean it’s bad. Something is clearly up with Connie as she keeps delegating the details of their adventure to Steven’s imagination instead of hers—a benefit of her impassioned speech is how obvious it is when that passion’s gone. But this needs to be blatant for the eeriness of her behavior to sink in, and for our occasionally obtuse hero to understand that something’s wrong.

Even more obvious is the romantic subtext of ~~Fake Connie~~ Connterfeit’s final conflict with Steven, between her wedding dress and her menacing “I know you like her.” But that’s what makes the twist that he’s hiding his true feelings about the book all the more satisfying. Steven and Connie’s relationship often veers platonic, which is terrific, but the crew gets great mileage out of remembering its origins as a crush (see: Alone Together, Winter Forecast). Even if he acts younger than his canonical thirteen, he’s still mature enough for ongoing crushes to be a factor in his life. Connie can make Steven feel embarrassed like no other character, and this dynamic makes Connterfeit’s words and Steven’s reaction hit us right in the gut.

Is Open Book a horror episode? I lean towards no, but it’s certainly unnerving in the way only Rose’s Room can be. Connterfeit’s eeriness is amplified by an unfortunately unavailable distortion of Connie’s theme, and Connterfeit’s slightly off delivery devolving into a frightening glitch (on top of the aforementioned book rant) cements the episode as the series’s best Grace Rolek showcase so far. Sure, she’ll outdo herself soon when she finally gets to sing, but credit where credit’s due, she’s amazing here.

For better and worse, this is the fewest number of characters we’ll see in a Steven Universe episode, with only three (four if you count Floaty Pink Whale’s silent cameo) and two voice actors between them. While this allows for laser focus on the story it’s telling, the lack of subplot or side characters also forces some narrative padding in a way that’s rare for a show with such a tight time constraint. Steven and Connterfeit’s imaginary second act adventures drag on a couple scenes too long, and the chase leading up to the finale takes forever; the latter stretch is especially unfortunate for Steven’s repeated variations of “I don’t want this” after it’s been made obvious that Connterfeit’s doing the opposite of what he wants now so he should really stop saying stuff like that. Yes, lack of subtlety isn’t always bad, but in this case it definitely hurts.

And don’t get me wrong, this one’s a ton of fun. Steven’s falcon suit is a wonder to behold, Connie’s gusto rules, and even Connterfeit gets some humor between bouts of uncomfortable strangeness.

Moreover, I can’t really imagine a sideplot that could fit into this story without some serious rejiggering, so I see why they’d forgo one.

Still, the pacing suffers regardless of how fun Open Book often is; it’s great that the crew gave this format a shot, but I’m glad they returned to a structure that makes the most of their many wonderful characters. Steven Universe has a killer roster and an insane batting average for well-structured eleven-minute plots, so no need to adjust the formula too dramatically.

It’s cool to watch Open Book alongside future episodes like Rocknaldo and Tiger Philanthropist for their varying perspectives on fan culture. All three have the same general message of fans benefiting from avoiding extremes, but

while Open Book is a more general message, the latter two episodes seem aimed squarely at Steven Universe fans themselves. Ronaldo and Lars are always going to come across a bit rougher around the edges than Connie, but honestly all three are pretty sympathetic stand-ins for people obsessed, regardless of how frustrating the fandom (or any fandom, really) can be.

Some people just like schmaltz, and the world would be a better place if hardcore types accepted this as easily as Connie. To a degree. Too much sugar (as opposed to too much Sugar, which might not exist) will eventually make you throw up.

Future Vision

Steven’s art style, complete with plus-sign teeth, will be explored further in Shirt Club.

This is the second time Connie’s gotten her hands on a sword, which is two times too many not to be foreshadowing some sort of training montage at least.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Okay Hilary now you’re just pandering to me.

I guess you could read it that way…

It’s nice to see Open Book come right after fellow Connie episode Full Disclosure, and Steven’s had way more time to realistically finish the Spirit Morph Saga than if this episode immediately followed Rose’s Scabbard. That last book alone was 917 pages long!
However, the break between Full Disclosure and Joy Ride bleeds momentum from establishing the new status quo. Season 2′s Homeworld pacing is wonky regardless (looming threat Malachite is ignored for most of it then jumps back in out of nowhere as Season 3 begins) but I can imagine some folks prefer a more direct link between the first two intended episodes. Still, Open Book partially relies on the TV ban that Joy Ride sees lifted, so it has a pretty limited airing window.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Open Book is the first of many early Season 2 (viewing order) victims of the preceding season’s cream of the crop. It’s a good, but not great episode; with better pacing it might be higher ranked.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour
Maximum Capacity
The Test
Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Future Vision
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power
Full Disclosure

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
Open Book

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 50*: Full Disclosure

“I want to be a part of your universe.”

Steven Universe is a hero, but is he a superhero? Sure, his powers are magical, and his enemies tend to be more monstrous than villainous, but the same could be said of fellow Steve-with-unusual-surname Stephen Strange. Steven certainly evokes your typical sidekick, and the Crystal Gems have a cool team name that sounds more like the Justice League than the Fellowship of the Ring. Most importantly, Steven lives in contemporary times despite his sci-fi/fantasy adventures, and lives a dual life between the weird and the mundane.

He doesn’t fill quite enough tropes for me to firmly put him in that category, but I bring it up because Full Disclosure uses a plot straight out of superhero lore: keeping a secret to keep someone safe. This secret tends to be the character’s identity as a hero, which has frankly been done to death; great shows like The Flash grind to a halt as our lead continually lies to loved ones for no actual reason (why would your friend let villains know that they’re prime kidnapping material?), and the plot point has been brilliantly deconstructed by the likes of Brian Michael Bendis’s Ultimate Spider-Man and Mark Waid’s Irredeemable. Steven Universe similarly subverts this story, thankfully in the span of a single episode, to show us just how childish this self-distancing really is.

Not that Steven’s reticence isn’t understandable: Greg, who we’ve seen worry about his son plenty of times before, has a massive freakout after hearing what Steven went through in The Return and Jailbreak, and any kid could make the logical leap that their friend might have a similar reaction. Greg’s message of support through his hyperventilation is everything to this scene; Tom Scharpling really can dad with the best of ‘em.

From here, we have a rare stretch of Steven alone and introspective. This isn’t Samurai Jack we’re talking about, so Zach Callison is either talking to a hypothetical Connie or singing about his feelings. Regardless, we have poignant moments of silence as his rambling falters to the aftermath of Homeworld’s attack.

Ronaldo makes his way into the plot, and does exactly what Ronaldo should do: act pompous and give lousy advice. Scenes like his are why I can never be too hard on the guy, because he has a role to play that no other character really can, and he plays it well. His speech is a nice dose of comedy in what could be a bleak sequence, but nonetheless captures Steven’s internal struggle. Most importantly, he doesn’t overstay his welcome!

It’s unfortunate that the song that follows has to come on the heels of Stronger Than You, because it’s one of the show’s finest:

Integrating the ringtone we’ve been hearing since the end of Jailbreak into an actual song is unspeakably clever. While the workmanlike lyrics aren’t too special compared to other Steven Universe numbers, it’s a welcome return to Steven singing; we may have gotten a taste in On the Run and The Message, but he hasn’t gotten a full-length solo song since all the way back in Island Adventure. Steven may just be singing what he’s obviously thinking, but between Zach Callison, the visuals, and the instrumentation, I’m good.

The sequence has two flashback montages of sorts: Steven looking through past pictures of hanging out with Connie to reestablish their history, and actual events we’ve seen in the past two episodes. Even if these episodes are fresh in our minds, Steven’s specific memories highlight just how much he’s witnessed: Garnet’s destruction, Lapis’s imprisonment, the menace of Peridot and Jasper, the crash, and the formation of Malachite. Note that the headbutt that gave him his black eye is omitted, because Steven’s most upset about bad things happening to other people, which fits right into his concern about Connie and his dad.

After some fun with the Gems, we immediately see how childish Steven’s behavior is, first using exaggerated vocabulary and then sloppily avoiding Connie rather than confront his feelings. Episodes like this are the reason Connie’s so surprised to learn that Steven’s older than her in Steven’s Birthday, because her maturity saves their friendship; Grace Rolek even incorporates a little Doctor Maheswaran as she admonishes Steven for making her worry. But not before this perfect little moment:

Full Disclosure’s insistence on letting destruction speak for itself is wonderful, considering we just got a song that spells out exactly what Steven’s thinking. After seeing Steven shocked into silence a few times earlier in the episode, Connie’s wordless run through the hall of the ship as she chases Steven hammers in just how big of a deal Jailbreak was. Moreover, the visual storytelling reinforces her character: this alien stuff is confusing and a little scary, but she’s more focused on her friend than sating her curiosity.

The staging of their confrontation builds enough suspense that it made me a little worried in my first watch, which is pretty impressive considering Steven and Connie obviously aren’t going to stop being friends. I love that we don’t see Steven explain what happened, not only because we saw it and got his summary already when he told Greg about it, but because it allows for one of Full Disclosure’s departure from the show’s signature style. Beyond the reverse star wipe opening, we get not one but two fade-out transitions—one after Steven’s song, and the other during this implied conversation—and both enhance the pensive tone of this aftermath episode.

All this worry makes the conclusion that much more satisfying. On the micro level we see that Greg has calmed down, and on the macro we see the whole town coming back together. It’s not Ocean Gem’s three-cheers-for-Steven ending, but what he needs after such a life-changing finale is a little relief.

Future Vision

Steven gets a taste of his own medicine in the aftermath of Wanted, where Connie ignores his calls and texts. Both incidents are sparked by Steven going to space without her, but her differing reactions speak volumes about her character development: here she’s worried because she’s out of the loop, but by the time he goes to Homeworld she’s furious and hurt that he let her go through it again. Ignoring how far their partnership has come to take on danger by himself betrays how hard Connie’s worked to be a part of his universe, and I’m thrilled that the show addresses this.
See below.

I guess you could read it that way…

If you watch Full Disclosure first, the knowledge of the Temple’s fence is foreshadowing. If you watch Story for Steven first, it’s a callback. I gotta go with the foreshadowing on this one.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

As the unofficial third act of a two-parter, Full Disclosure suffers a bit compared to individual episodes. But tone is still king for me, and I welcome any portrayal of the immediate aftermath of major episodes. Characters in serials tend to be unrealistically resilient when it comes to episode after episode of drama and trauma, and a big part of Steven Universe’s second season is establishing just how much these past events we’ve seen (versus the first season’s focus on past events in a character’s history) affect our leads.

While Full Disclosure itself doesn’t make the cut, now that we’re fifty episodes in I’m expanding the Top Ten to a Top Fifteen. Congratulations to On the Run, Warp Tour, Maximum Capacity, The Test, and Ocean Gem for getting out of the runners-up slot!

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour
Maximum Capacity
The Test
Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Future Vision
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power
Full Disclosure

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 49*: Jailbreak

“I am made of love, and it’s stronger than you.”

Considering the
musicality of Steven Universe, the
absence of any songs from acclaimed singer Estelle throughout its first season was striking. Well, that’s not entirely true: she leads the theme song, to ensure that every single episode of the series begins with Garnet singing the word “We.”
And that’s my favorite little hint.

Yes, Garnet’s a
fusion, and it’s a testament to the world Steven
Universe built in its first season that this revelation was guessable, but no less powerful in execution than a less expected twist. Enough breadcrumbs about her true nature are sprinkled in throughout the season to gratify theorists (see: her two gems, her expert knowledge of fusion, her keytar), but for unaware viewers who are somehow unspoiled about what’s now common enough knowledge to be the cover of a children’s book, the twist is made apparent in the very beginning of Jailbreak through the stark flashback of Garnet’s gems breaking apart and the introduction of Ruby, who resembles her fusion with her hair and color far more than Sapphire with her lips and hidden eyes. Steven’s surprise is not necessarily meant to be your own, and that’s okay.

While Steven gets to meet both halves of Garnet individually, we get much more of everyone’s favorite eternal flame, already fully realized by Charlyne Yi. She and Steven are a terrific odd couple storming the brig for the Crystal Gems and whoever this Sapphire is (at this point only the youngest viewers haven’t guessed the twist, I’d imagine—our still-unnamed Ruby says Sapphire’s name in a Garnet-style shot of the lower half of her face, and even tries and fails to envision the future); both are determined to save their friends(/lovers), but where Steven is curious and wonderstruck, Ruby is impatient and desperate. She’s around just long enough to make a strong impression: that of a single-minded dynamo, combining the bullheadedness of a Gryffindor with the frustration of Daffy Duck. But between her attitude and the show’s desire to introduce her separately from Sapphire, she inevitably bails on Steven as soon as they meet Lapis Lazuli.

We’ve seen Lapis twice since Ocean Gem, but she and Steven haven’t actually talked again until now, and our future angsty teen is justifiably wallowing in despair: after thousands of years longing for her home, she’s still reeling over the knowledge that home no longer exists. She was brave enough to stand up for Steven in The Return and lie about him to protect him prior to that encounter, but as we saw in The Message, she’s thoroughly defeated. This continues the episode’s trend of Gems opposing Steven’s core values; in this case, his unwavering optimism.

Jailbreak’s cinematography stands out among its generally fantastic peers (Rebecca Sugar reunites the Sugar/Liu/Johnston storyboarding trio responsible for Lion 3), and this scene is one such example. The yellow light of the prison barrier is used to its fullest, switching between portraying both characters with a bar of gold between them and Steven’s perspective of Lapis’s sickly, muted blue—and unlike his interactions with Ruby and Sapphire, Steven’s closeups aren’t tinted by Lapis’s point of view, because she’s not one of them quite yet. Between the Mirror, Greg’s television, and the prison light, Lapis is forced to communicate from behind obfuscating screens throughout the first season, which makes her eventual integration with the team (more or less) such a refreshing contrast.

While we’re on details like this, there’s also matter of the gems themselves. The placement of a Gem’s gem has always been subtly indicative of their nature, but Jailbreak’s camera highlights them into the forefront. Ruby’s angry shrug reveals the gem on her palm usually hidden by a clenched fist, showing how she’s only half of the whole that is Garnet. Lapis is introduced with a shot of her gem, followed by her face, emphasizing her character’s intense desire to go back. And when the hard-nosed Jasper is convincing Lapis to fuse, her gem is so prominent that the top and bottom of her face are cut off frame.

Oh, and there’s that really neat transition of Jasper to Peridot.

But back to Steven’s adventure: after evading Peridot and Jasper and first hearing the term “cluster” (soon to be followed by our first “clod”!), we meet Garnet’s other half. Sapphire’s song begins the episode and is heard like a siren call throughout his search, so it’s satisfying to meet her this early in the finale. She proves to be a calm, confident counterpart to Ruby, seemingly sharing no similarities save a desire to reunite. Oh, and she somehow knows Steven’s name.

Before we get much more of a grip on our new Gem, she whisks Steven to the central room and to Ruby. Their brief conversation speaks volumes about Ruby’s self-worth, Sapphire’s empathy, and their mutual devotion, and Sapphire kissing Ruby’s tears away before getting swept off her feet is our first solid indication that these aren’t just good friends. Their “fusion dance” is as simple as swirling around in joy, and the score melts into bass as Garnet returns.

There are many things to love about this scene, but my favorite is that we finally see Garnet’s full face in a situation that isn’t inherently frightening. Our most distant Crystal Gem has opened up to Steven in a way she’s been working on for the better part of Season 1B, and it turns out her three eyes aren’t really all that strange after all.

As Steven runs off to help Amethyst and Pearl, he passes Garnet the torch, and yeah, here’s the second act in its entirety.

Stronger Than You speaks for itself, and if you’re anything like me you’ve seen this sequence a thousand times already. But beyond Estelle’s voice, Sugar’s lyrics, and Aivi and Surasshu’s score, it’s worth noting that the visual storytelling here is incredible. It’s great to see Garnet in an actual fight after a season of lopsided victories versus massive opponents; her only big losses are in Steven’s imagination and against Jasper’s unknown technology. She’s obviously confident, wearing a constant grin (and, sure, singing the whole time), but I love how Jasper gets plenty of good punches in. This is a villain we need to take seriously, and a rout would take all the bite out of her future appearances.

The choreography perfectly matches the spirit of these fighters: Garnet is limber and cunning despite her power, not even summoning her gloves until she acrobatically disarms her opponent, while Jasper is a cavewoman whose only strategy is pummeling her foe with her fists, head, and Sonic spin dashes. Perhaps Garnet is tough enough to withstand such an onslaught punch for punch, but instead she wins the duel by coordinating Ruby’s drive with Sapphire’s restraint.

This dichotomy reinforces the link between Stronger Than You and its sister song, Strong in the Real Way, the twin theses of the series: strength in Steven’s Universe is about how we treat ourselves and others, because that takes much more work than just hitting the gym. Stronger Than You is ruined if Garnet is physically stronger than Jasper, because the whole point is that physicality is irrelevant to strength.

…but wait, that was just the middle. Jailbreak has a strange structure, with a third act that follows the climax instead of containing it. This is hardly a typical case of falling action, however, as Jasper is defeated for a second time by the most unlikely Gem imaginable in a harrowing conclusion.

One of the cooler tricks of Season 1B is depicting Lapis’s sorrow and fear in a way that makes us forget that she’s the most powerful being alive on a planet made of water. Jasper’s forceful fusion is tough to watch, considering fusion’s various connotations (Kimberly Brooks is great throughout, but her line of the night is Jasper’s wolfish “Just say yes…”), and Malachite is the terrifying consequence.

Stronger Than You deservedly consumes most of the musical praise for Jailbreak, but the one-two punch of Collusion and especially Malachite is spine-chillingly brilliant. Both employ Lapis’s theme, but while the former combines it with Jasper’s, the latter takes a cue from the simmering tidal wave of her darker theme in Mirror Gem as her half shackles Malachite, only for her piano to storm in as the abomination is dragged into the sea. Even so, Malachite’s discordant two-chord motif is strong enough to stand out even during the Lapis-fest, and will continue to unnerve whenever she darkens our screen.

Also like Mirror Gem is a final moment of levity from Garnet to ease such a sudden ending, but it’s not over yet! Steven’s ringing phone heralds the next step in his journey, and the first Steven Bomb wisely included this denouement as a conclusion to the weeklong finale.

There are so many amazing details to applaud—the hand ship’s escape pod is flicked away like a marble!—on top of Jailbreak’s obvious strengths. This is an unbelievably solid eleven minutes, packed with action and emotion and satisfaction in the way any good finale should provide. And in case all of the preceding events weren’t enough to clue you in that this is something big, the ending credits, at long last, contain lyrics.

Future Vision!

Lots of cool parallels exist between Jailbreak and the finale of the show’s next fifty-odd episode chunk, Bubbled: the direct continuation of a defeat, a quiet space title card leading into a space setting, and especially a disgruntled ruby’s “Great! This is just perfect!”

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

The Return and Jailbreak are essentially tied in my book, with the former edging ahead by a hair. This top six is gonna be pretty solid until Peridot joins the crew.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Warp Tour
The Test
Future Vision
On the Run
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 48*: The Return

“Like ALIENS, Steven! Aliens who invaded Earth!”

I like The Return more than Jailbreak.

To be clear, it’s not by much, and it’s certainly not because of flaws on Jailbreak’s part. The latter is a spectacular episode of a spectacular show, for reasons I’ll get into in my next post. But I’m a guy whose favorite episodes are Steven and the Stevens and Hit the Diamond; I’m all about those microcosms, and The Return is a terrific snapshot of everything Season 1 has built up to.

Like Marble Madness, this is a pivot episode, but kicked into overdrive. The sheer number of callbacks packed into its eleven-minute runtime is staggering, but The Return isn’t content with simply referencing the past. We don’t just open with an extended reference to Laser Light Cannon; we hear the Gems now treat Greg as an equal, and see the initial cannon now joined by the Quartizine Trio from Lion 2, Rose’s Scabbard, and Political Power. Speaking of which, Political Power is next in the slate, showing that The Return is going to pull material from episodes old and new; the one-two punch of Dewey’s evacuation siren and his rambling speech on the virtues of evacuating are hilarious, but my favorite bit from this section is that Lion and Onion have phone numbers.

From here, we get the cheeseburger backpack and megaphone from Cheeseburger Backpack and Coach Steven, each of which defines one of Steven’s key roles: as an innocent child who’s helpful but in over his head, and as an inspirational force. Again, it would be easy to just show these items and be content with the reference, but within the scene they’re imbued with deeper meaning. Their episodes meant something, and the ways they represented and changed Steven at those points in time are crucial to the character he’s become.

The best callback, though, is Steven and Greg’s long drive from Beach City. Why is it the best? A few reasons, the first of which is Aivi and Surasshu scoring the scene with a continuation of Night Drive from The Return’s closest counterpart, Ocean Gem (putting a pin on that comparison for now). The track feels familiar and calm, but just the slightest bit eerie as the conversation begins, and tension seeps in as Steven and Greg veer towards talk of the past.

One of the show’s perfect decisions is to make Greg, not the Gems, reveal explicitly what the Gems are. Because up to this point, the Gems have held all the answers about their history, while Greg has represented Steven’s human half, but of course Greg would’ve talked about this stuff with Rose. Realizing that our lovable schlub knows more than he lets on is a reveal in and of itself, and an amazing parenting moment.

As for the big “twist,” it may have been obvious to the viewer since Ocean Gem, and Steven casually acknowledged that the Gems come from space in On the Run, but this is the first time he’s really forced to directly encounter the truth: they’re not just aliens, they’re invaders. And then, as we get flashbacks to moments that Steven now associates with this new information, the score shifts to a dark distortion of Rose’s Theme.

But what makes Steven special is that even with this sudden knowledge, his biggest takeaway is that the Crystal Gems survived thanks to Rose’s shield. He’s more concerned with their safety than their history, and has caught wise to why they sent him away. Here comes another reason I like The Return a little more than its successor: this is Steven’s show, and as beautiful and cathartic as Garnet’s victory is, the emotional climax of the first season is Steven’s Return.

With one last callback—to Opal, showcasing Amethyst and Pearl’s shared resolve and hinting at the imminent importance of fusion—the extended third act completes the pivot to the future.

Aivi and Surasshu’s other big track here is, well, big: at nearly four minutes, it consumes the entire final act. If you haven’t before, you should really take a moment and listen to it without dialogue: the intertwined themes of Peridot, Lapis, and Jasper are certainly the highlight, but it’s amazing how well the composers capture the heroic highs and villainous lows of this scene.

Everything Jasper says here is fascinating. Pearl is a pearl? Amethyst is a runt? Garnet is…a shameless display? What does that mean? What’s Jasper’s history with Rose? Who the hell is Yellow Diamond? Jasper is something entirely new to the show: a bored brute that even Steven, who sees the best in the likes of Lars and Peridot, shudders at. But she’s just the kind of threat that would prompt him to his crowning moment of the season, throwing himself in front of his family and summoning a gigantic shield to save them.

“I’m a Crystal Gem, too” sums up everything about Steven’s character; the only thing keeping it from being the header quote is that he’ll continue to struggle a bit to be seen as a peer after The Return, because this is a show necessarily about his growth into the role. Regardless, his giant shield is a gratifying culmination of an entire season of not being taken seriously, and a big step forward in being recognized for the team player he is.

And, of course, we see how easily the Crystal Gems fall to the foreshadowed advanced technology of Homeworld. Peridot’s cold high-tech finger cannon maneuvers contrast sharply against Lapis’s frantic attempts to defend her friend against what she knows is coming, all building up to Garnet’s slow, graphic destruction at the hands of the destabilizer. The stage is set for a dramatic conclusion, and fortunately The Return provides the resolution we desire.

The Return and Jailbreak are the first two-part duo since Mirror Gem and Ocean Gem, and both pairs are finales of sorts, so comparisons are bound to come up. But as I said earlier, I find that The Return actually correlates more with Ocean than Mirror, despite being the first half rather than the second. The van sequence, complete with similar music and a revelation prompting Steven to flash back, is certainly a factor. But thematically, both The Return and Ocean Gem focus on Steven as a member of two worlds, with Gems in outer space symbolizing one side and the people of Beach City symbolizing the other. It’s no mistake that both episodes provide a quiet panorama featuring the vast majority of Steven’s human neighbors.

Sure, Ocean Gem also comes to mind when Steven goes back to space for Jailbreak, but Jailbreak is more formatted as a mystery episode, like Mirror Gem, than an episode about preparing against an overpowering foe, like Ocean Gem/The Return. At this point I’m sure to just get the names of Mirror Gem and Ocean Gem mixed up a bunch, but I appreciate that our two two-part finales correlate without sticking with one-to-one mirroring of structure.

This may be a low point for the Gems in terms of morale, but it’s a high point as characters. It’s heartbreaking to watch Amethyst and Pearl struggle to hold it together as they send Steven away, then collapse for a moment when he’s gone. And Garnet proves here even more than in Jailbreak why she’s the leader: she needs to comfort Steven while sending him to safety, and she needs to pull her team back together for the upcoming fight, and as the biggest, strongest Gem, she needs to take on Jasper when the going gets tough. We’ve known since Warp Tour that the threat of a Homeworld invasion hits her where it hurts, and as recently as Political Power she’s openly admitted how scared she is. But despite her fear and anger, Garnet always does what’s best for the people she loves, and that’s what makes her a hero.

I’ve talked about the plotting, characters, and music, but the visuals of The Return are especially gorgeous. Emotions flow off the characters as they prepare for the end in their own ways, and the green lighting of the final scene, interrupted only by the colors of characters’ eyes and weapons, gives extra alien discomfort to the conflict. Visual callbacks to the fry stand and the room around Connie’s phone ground us in the world we’ve gotten to know over the course of the season, and allows a firm contrast with the alien architecture of the ship in Jailbreak.

The Return may not have a big song or a lot of laughs compared to other episodes, but what could’ve been a pure setup episode is instead a suspenseful, reminiscent, and satisfying story all on its own, and that’s pretty special.

Future Vision!

Steven’s sweet prediction about Peridot is Ronaldo-level accurate.
Up in that panning shot, we get our first glimpse of Barb right next to her daughter.

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

…but if Barb is up there, where are Vidalia and Lars’s parents? This is supposed to be a full evacuation, and we even know that Vidalia’s model was more or less done, given this was supposed to air after her debut in Story for Steven. Sure, I guess they might be back in their cars with Jenny, but still.

I guess you could read it that way…

Not that Say Uncle matters that much, but it was meant to air before The Return, and I definitely prefer Steven’s worry about his shield to come after his big moment in the finale, where he just did something amazing but still isn’t sure how it works.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

The Return is one of the best, and perfectly wraps up the first season so Jailbreak can tie it with a ribbon. Not much else to say here that I didn’t up there: this is top-tier Steven Universe.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Warp Tour
The Test
Future Vision
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 47*: Political Power

“We’ll face the night together, and we’ll survive.”

Political Power is a strange beast. On the one hand, it’s a return to Steven hanging around Beach City, which he hasn’t done much of post-Lion 3. On the other hand, it’s an intense Homeworld Arc episode that transitions us to the finale. And on a mysterious third hand, it’s a crucial episode in Steven’s personal arc, containing a life-changing epiphany. Oh, and it’s also funny!

Let’s start with that last bit, because humor greases the gears for these three major elements to work in harmony. Mayor Dewey has always been low-key hilarious, which is odd considering his claim to fame is a giant head shouting his name. But the man himself is hardly as bombastic as fellow agents of comic relief like Onion or Ronaldo, and a big part of that is voice actor Joel Hodgson, the comedy legend behind Mystery Science Theater 3000. Have you ever watched a funny video review of a bad movie? You have Joel Hodgson to thank.

Hodgson imbues lines like “Car wash kid” and “Let’s all scream for ice cream” with just the right inflection and timing to make them shine, and Political Power gives him plenty of room to flex. But beyond Dewey’s great delivery, he gets some tremendous situational humor. In particular, I love his exasperated declaration that Beach City is a “magnet for disaster”, and the reveal that his entire career hinges on distracting its citizens. Awareness of the Crystal Gems’ exploits has always been ambiguous on this show: as I put it all the way back in my Beach Party review, this is a world where magic is unusual, but not unheard of. Even then, characters are either uninvested in the details or, in the case of Ronaldo, failing to see how strange incidents correlate with the Gems. But Bill Dewey’s smarter than he looks, and when a crisis hits, he immediately deduces that the Gems are the source.

At his core, Dewey does want to help. But he’s a normal guy in a magical world (not unlike previous episode focus Greg) and at a certain point all you can do is hand out glowsticks and hope for the best. This isn’t to say he’s perfect, as his career politician laces even his well-intentioned actions with self-aggrandizing pins. Moreover, his Band-Aid of a plan is vastly inferior to helping his citizens prepare for a major emergency, but—and this is one of the few times you’ll hear me use this excuse—hey, it’s a kid’s show. You’re allowed to have well-meaning but exaggeratedly dopey adults in this medium without the foundation of reality crumbling apart, so long as it’s true to the character.

Making Dewey a parallel to the Gems is a masterstroke: I don’t think anyone in their wildest dreams would’ve associated the two before this episode. Even here, we see Dewey’s freakout as comedic while the Gems’ freakout is dramatic. But both lie about the truth to protect people, and neither is correct to do so, a conclusion Steven comes to midsentence as he protects Dewey from the wrath of Nanefua’s mob (did I mention Nanefua finally returns?).

This is a powerful revelation. Steven’s always felt left out from what the Gems are doing, and his growing competence has lent a dramatic edge to this exclusion, but before now we’ve never seen him seriously stop and consider why. We may learn from Future Vision that Garnet, and by extension Amethyst and Pearl, keep him at a distance to protect him, but he’s too busy losing his grip about his many imminent dooms to realize it. With Peridot coming and the Gems going into overdrive, something had to give, and this was it. Now that Steven has an idea of why he’s in the dark, he can work through it and actually contribute to the team.

It’s no coincidence that this episode is immediately followed by another major revelation about the Gems that doesn’t come directly from the Gems.

Our heroines are too set in their ways to change without prompting, so Steven needs these external sources, like Dewey and Greg, to start the process of real communication. And I love that once it gets rolling, the Gems don’t hold back. They admit that they’re outclassed, and that they’re scared. This is similar to Pearl’s admission that the Gems don’t know what’s going on in Marble Madness, but coming clean about how this affects their emotions is a big step.

As a hangout episode…again, Nanefua’s back, and that’s all we need for a successful Beach City outing. But beyond any sane person’s favorite citizen, we get Onion threatening with a bat, Pop Fryman getting real about his sons, and Suitcase Sam in all his eyepatched glory. There isn’t as much interaction as in previous civilian episodes, but then again, this isn’t just a civilian episode.

I love that we jump between the humans and the Gems instead of focusing entirely on one or the other. A standout sequence is Steven eavesdropping below his deck, showing only the Gems’s feet as he gets hears snippets of information and spots the Quartizine Trio hiding under a tarp. We have time to stew on this, as well as their about-face when they notice he’s around, when we get back to Beach City proper. But we’re already stewing on what’s going to happen come sundown. By offering twice the tension, Political Power ramps us up from the end of The Message to the beginning of the finale.

Tension and comedy go hand in hand; one of the most popular theories of humor, the Relief Theory, posits that the basis of humor comes from relieving a situation’s tension. There’ve been a few instances of this in Steven Universe before: think the endings of Rose’s Room and Mirror Gem, which close a nail-biting sequence with a goofy joke. Political Power takes a different approach: it’s funny, sure, but it certainly isn’t trying to defuse the looming danger of Homeworld. One needn’t look further than the closing credits, which to this point have always included a version of “Love Like You,” but here contains crescendoing static.

Bad things are coming. Bad people are in power. But if we devote ourselves to the love and truth of a healthy family and community, the lights might come back on one day.

Fusion Vision!

Nanefua’s particular disdain for Mayor Dewey pays off in a major way for both characters in Dewey Wins, the distant retort to Dewey’s perspective on politics. Mayor Pizza is also far more effective at implementing emergency plans with the power of her Nanaphone, as seen in Reunited.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

For the first time, but not the last, Hilary Florido’s High School AU is the only promo art we get. This is me not complaining about that.

I guess you could read it that way…

Obviously this episode looks a bit different after Shirt Club, but honestly I think the biggest change is the lack of time between Steven Hangs Out episodes more than its examination of the Deweys. Without Shirt Club, this is the first time Steven’s mulled around Beach City since Watermelon Steven, not counting fusions.

Not to be a broken record on preferring the aired version, but I feel that Shirt Club works way better after we’ve gotten to know the Deweys more in Political Power and Joy Ride. We only get a glimpse of Buck here, and focusing on the pair separately lets us better understand how they might clash when put together.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Political Power does pretty much everything right, but in the end, it’s still a set-up episode that struggles to stand on its own. Even if Steven learns something big, the tone doesn’t treat it as that much of a deal compared to other climaxes, because there’s bigger fish to fry. It makes it into “Love ‘em” by a hair, but it still makes it!

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
The Test
Future Vision
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
The Message
Political Power

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 46*: The Message

“Have a little have a little have a little faith in me.”

In the past,
Greg Universe wrote songs that yearned for a life among the stars. Then he met
Rose Quartz, and in a way, his wish came true. More than any other human on the
planet, his life is full of cosmic wonder. But while he may be surrounded by
aliens with literal magic, he’s not one of them. He tried so hard to fly, but
he was thrown.

Greg is never
more distinctly human than in contrast with the Gems, and The Message highlights these differences more than ever before; he’s not even boring ole Greg here, but in Amethyst’s words, he’s Gregory. We
haven’t seen the Gems so uniformly dismissive of him since all the way back
in Laser Light Cannon, but this time
we don’t just have to take Steven’s word for his greatness. He’s shown to be
competent and loving, capable of understanding his son more deeply than any other
character on the show.

This is honestly still a problem forty-odd episodes later. Sure, I buy Pearl having no faith in Greg. Even if we ignore her Rose-based dislike of him, here’s her perspective of his handiness: in Coach Steven, she saw his cruddy makeshift gym; in House Guest, she had to fix his van because he couldn’t; in Space Race, she saw his go-kart explode against a rock, and certainly didn’t see him help make a spacecraft; in Maximum Capacity, she confirmed that he’s messy, which hits her very core. Pearl’s allowed to be condescending.

But Garnet and Amethyst? The former is super open-minded and practical, and the other actively enjoys Greg’s company. Both have participated in making music with him and know that he’s an expert with sound. Both know him to be someone who tries his best to fix things. Hell, all three of them know that his human duct tape solution to the Geode worked.

With this backdrop in mind, all three Gems react absurdly to his initial failure. Even Pearl, who’s most likely to want him to fail, is explicitly an expert in how the van functions and would understand the power failure. And his methods are clearly working before the battery shorts out, slowly shifting the senseless wailing into something that sounds vaguely like a voice. But instead of continuing down this path, the Gems give up the only lead they have. These are the same Gems that are bracing themselves for Homeworld after two encounters with Peridot and need all the help they can get, by the way.

The only conclusions we can gain from this is that the Gems are incompetent (which they aren’t) or that their stubborn lack of respect for Greg clouds their vision. Well, we’ve seen the latter in Laser Light Cannon, where, as a reminder, they assume a guy who keeps everything and loved Rose would’ve lost something Rose gave him. But there, and here, this is nonsensical compared to their treatment of Greg in the rest of the series. Maybe Pearl, who actively dislikes him at this point, would be petty enough not to recognize his value. But for Amethyst and Garnet to brush him aside ignores many episodes of rapport with him, and their knowledge that, oh yeah, he raised Steven by himself for years.

I’m not against the concept of the Gems having friction with Greg, but it comes up so infrequently that both of these episodes feel like oddballs. It would be easy enough to make this plot element consistent, but instead, the Gems (even Pearl) are far too cordial far too often with Greg for me to believe they suddenly see him as a total failure in The Message.

Like Laser Light Cannon, this tension does make for good conflict within the episode itself. Steven wanting to bring his two families together and prove his dad’s worth is a great problem to solve, and it lets Greg have a victory with stakes. But Steven Universe is a serial, and what works for a single episode doesn’t necessarily work for the whole. For a more extreme example, take House Guest: while I despise Greg’s sudden shift to lying manipulator (even for an arguably noble cause), it’s a perfectly fine episode if we ignore the context around it, which is that Greg never shows this sort of behavior elsewhere. But we can’t, and The Message shouldn’t.

One more issue before I get to the good stuff (because I promise, I actually do like this episode for all its flaws): it’s been a while since Lapis Lazuli flew back to the stars, and she hasn’t been mentioned since, so one of The Message’s duties is reintroducing her to the audience. This ends up being a mixed bag, because as much as I adore Steven’s song about her and our extended callback to Greg’s reaction to her ocean tower, it makes the sender of the titular message obvious. As soon as the Gems deduce the Wailing Stone is communicating from space, any viewer who understands foreshadowing (which admittedly excludes the show’s youngest audience, but not upper-elementary kids and up) will recall the focus on Lapis minutes earlier.

Considering the looming presence of Peridot in the wake of Warp Tour and especially Marble Madness, this episode could’ve easily led us to believe she was the culprit, with Lapis appearing as a genuine twist. As it is, her message arriving on the same night Steven and Greg happen to be discussing her (again, for the first time we’ve seen since her departure) feels contrived.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that the focus is on Greg and the Gems, and I understand that with only eleven minutes to spare it would’ve been difficult to do a genuine mystery plot justice while maintaining the central character study. But I’m tickled by the irony of an episode about a message being distorted by its medium being handicapped by the necessities of serialized children’s television.

Okay, so the good stuff. There’s a lot of it! Despite their out-of-character reaction to Greg, the Gems have fantastic interactions with each other: I get a kick out of the assumption that the Wailing Stone is a prank from Amethyst, and their different methods of trying to stop the noise are nice reflections of their characters. Steven and Greg are still great together, and Steven’s utter faith in his dad never gets old.

The music here is terrific. Greg expanding Steven’s melody about Lapis to express himself is inspired, considering they’re having a jam session before the episode picks up. I just love Tom Scharpling’s singing voice, which fortunately sees a lot of play but is never unwelcome: I can’t imagine it’s easy to get so much out of emotion out of the word “expertise,” but he nails it.

Even if its place within the serial makes some of the character beats ring false, the emotional truths underlying them are still done well. We feel how crushed Greg is, how hopeful Steven is, and the Gems’ full arc from discouraged to amazed to terrified. And Greg still gets to be a dad in an episode where he could just act like a buddy, calmly telling Steven to use his words when he gets too excited to communicate.

And dear lord, does Lapis continue to impress. With mere seconds on screen, the tone of the episode, and the entire rest of the first season, shifts into full crisis mode. It’s not just Jennifer Paz’s performance (which starts out great but only improves as she unleashes her inner Daria), it’s the positioning of her small monitor to fill the screen or surround itself with the Crystal Gems’ reactions. It’s the knowledge that the most powerful Gem we’ve seen so far is out of her league with Homeworld. It’s the confirmation that yes, they’re coming back to Earth.

And it’s Garnet, trying desperately to play it cool while her team falls apart. Her headspace is still pretty much at her initial reaction to Peridot in Warp Tour, but now she’s got to pull everyone together. It’s crunch time.

But not until we get Steven goofing off a little, because this is still a show that wears its heart on its sleeve and Steven’s humanity still matters when the going gets tough. Even if he’s actually a robot.

Future Vision!

Apparently Steven says “Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me” enough to worm its way into Garnet’s vocabulary come Mindful Education.
As the Gems leap away, Steven notably fails to make such a leap. Combined with his fall in Rose’s Scabbard, it’s a wonder it takes so long for Steven Floats to pop up.
Lapis points out that Peridot knows Steven’s name, which shows that she paid attention to such things during their Marble Madness conversation; given this, is it really surprising that she kept a record of Steven’s friends’ names?

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

A personal hot dog this time: why oh why didn’t I name this section “My mind is the internet, I know every continuity mistake ever made on television”?

I guess you could read it that way…

When viewed in the intended order, The Message comes right on the heels of Story for Steven, with mixed results. While Steven and Greg’s musical van hangout makes for an excellent link between the episodes, as does the focus on Greg’s relationship with the Gems, Story takes place at the car wash and Message on the beach. Sure, Greg could’ve driven them over, but they still seem to be mid-hangout when The Message begins. This really should’ve been a more solid locational connection given the opportunity.
This also would’ve been the third Greg episode in a row in the intended order, for whatever that’s worth (thanks to Shirt Club). The Message certainly works as a culmination of a Greg trilogy, but honestly I like it better on its own.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Like sister episode Laser Light Cannon, I do enjoy this episode on its own merits. But its flaws are easier to see in hindsight, especially when you aren’t as caught up in resolving the initial Homeworld Arc as you are in the first few views.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
The Test
Future Vision
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
The Message

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

Episode 45: Rose’s Scabbard

There’s no episode of Steven Universe that A Single Pale Rose changes more than Rose’s Scabbard. Even though there are multiple episodes that are entirely about Steven thinking Rose shattered Pink Diamond, none of them even come close. This one hurts, folks.

When I first wrote this post, I felt the episode was best characterized by the header quote “Sometimes, you even sound like her.” It’s one of Deedee Magno Hall’s best reads, which is saying quite a lot. It’s such a perfect, quiet way of Pearl telling Steven just how much she loved Rose, and just how much she misses her. He doesn’t get it, but we do, and it’s heartbreaking.

I love that quote. I really didn’t want to change it. But it’s been upstaged by a line that seems like a throwaway until it very suddenly isn’t. A line that means so little to Steven, but a line that means everything to Pearl in ways that she literally couldn’t say. We didn’t get it, but now we do, and it’s heartbreaking.

“Can you keep a secret?”

There’s a layer of melancholy that informs nearly everything Pearl says or does. This is distinct from being sad all the time; rather, sadness seems to color her view of the world, regardless of her mood at any given time. As I mentioned in Coach Steven, Deedee Magno Hall portrays this somberness so well that even Pearl’s roll call in the theme song sounds wistful.

In Rose’s Scabbard, we begin to find out why.

In my review of On the Run, I likened Amethyst’s character with anxiety and Pearl’s with depression. Again, this isn’t an attempt to clinically diagnose alien cartoon characters by someone who got a C+ in Psych 101, especially considering every indication that the source of Pearl’s sadness is external, not internal: she’s grieving for someone whose death is incredibly recent in the relative span of her lifetime. But regardless, as someone whose depression usually outweighs his anxiety, I’m so grateful that Steven Universe provides a familiar soul for kids struggling the way I did when I was younger. Back in my day, Lisa Simpson and Eeyore and Charlie Brown were pretty much it.

It’s a good thing Pearl is so lovable, because she messes up a lot. Pearl is easily the most morally flawed Crystal Gem (I mean, look at who her teacher was), which so far has manifested in her gaps in empathy and inability to realize when she’s wrong. In Monster Buddies, she doesn’t understand how Steven could actually befriend a Corrupted Gem. In Space Race, she doesn’t understand why Steven might be against going into space for fifty years (or she does, but doesn’t care). In Warp Tour, she doesn’t understand why Steven doesn’t agree with her sound logic. Her multiple clashes with Amethyst stem from their similar stubbornness, but Pearl’s side of the feud is drenched in self-superiority.

(Flaws like these are why I can’t stand episodes like House Guest or Fusion Cuisine, because look at how much depth we get when a character’s faults are consistent!)

This undercurrent of sadness is intrinsic to Pearl, but we see her more or less hold it together, which makes it all the more powerful when Rose’s Scabbard finally breaks her. At this point in the show, we know nothing about pearls being a servile caste, or that Pearl was specifically a servant to Pink Diamond. We don’t know that she was the first Crystal Gem, one of the sparks of the rebellion. We don’t know that she was trusted with so many secrets that she was physically forced to keep them locked away, and that when she says she was the only person Rose trusted, she really, really means it. Without any of this knowledge, Rose’s Scabbard still hurts. With it, her meltdown is just devastating.

As Pearl copes with the weight of betrayal, we (and arguably Steven) learn something that’s secretly shaped her for the entire series: that she loved Rose. Loved how? It’s all but said here, and reaffirmed soon, that it was traditional romantic love. But she also loved having that leader to turn to, and she loved having order and consistency, and she loved feeling like a special confidante, and these mainstays for thousands of years are also gone.

This is arguably the episode when she finally realizes that Rose didn’t love her back. Which isn’t to say that Rose didn’t love Pearl in her own, incredibly flawed way. But to quote living superhero Terry Crews, it’s impossible to love someone and control them at the same time.

Why is Pearl a crumpled mess in this episode? Because she just found out that for all her years of love and loyalty, in the end she was just Rose’s scabbard. And she can’t even tell anyone.

Now, this is a lot for Pearl to take in, and we all are capable of doing terrible things when our lives fall apart, but none of this is Steven’s fault, and it’s not okay that he bears the brunt of her breakdown. If she had stopped at the devastating “You’ve never even met her!” it would’ve been way too far, so the ensuing chase, culminating in The Glare and leaving him to climb back up without help, is borderline unforgivable.

But not to Steven. This episode might be important because of what we learn about Pearl, but it’s great because it showcases Steven’s astounding capacity for grace. Back in Lars and the Cool Kids, when exposed to a similar Rose-related sucker punch, Steven is justifiably furious. Pearl’s behavior here is far worse than Lars’s there, but our lead has grown into a hero capable of not only forgiving her, but actively trying to make her feel better.

While this extended final act is what sticks out the most about Rose’s Scabbard, the buildup is nothing to scoff at. Pearl’s initial excitement about battle gives us a fun moment of exuberance to contrast with her eventual state, something she gets to briefly return to when she tells Steven more war stories at the end. And I love the dynamic of Steven’s obliviousness and Pearl’s manic frustration as we return to Rose’s training ground (finally named “The Armory”), especially Pearl’s light projection being used for comedic effect before it takes its dramatic turn.

Barring a cameo in The Test, this is the first time we see Lion since his lead role in Lion 3: Straight to Video. His lack of anthropomorphism continues to prohibit deeper characterization, but his balance of goofiness and zenlike wisdom brings out the best (and worst) from the surrounding cast. The Gems verbalizing his connection to Rose neatly prevents such an obvious plot element from serving as a cheap “twist,” and his eventual acceptance of Pearl touching his mane makes for a nice, quiet arc.

Garnet and Amethyst are glorious in their background roles. It’s easy to miss their hilarious struggle to fit Garnet’s new battleaxe through the Temple’s door, as it happens off-screen and our lack of knowledge about Rose makes us pay full attention to Steven and Pearl’s conversation, but next time you watch this episode, focus solely on the other two Gems when they all first warp back. You won’t be disappointed.

Their contrast with Pearl may primarily characterize our lead Gem, but Amethyst’s anger is a great follow-up to Maximum Capacity’s exploration of her own relationship with Rose, and I love how Pearl’s outburst shocks Garnet back to her early-episode tacitness. Rose was important to all of them, even if Pearl was her closest ally, and Rose’s Scabbard wisely refuses to brush that aside.

While the visual wonder of this episode goes without saying (just look at the expressions in these screencaps!), and my love of this show’s music may be old hat for regular readers, I can’t let Aivi and Surasshu off the hook: the score is phenomenal. In terms of episode-original tracks, Moonlit Battlefield blends excitement and wonder with anger and tragedy, and the halting silence accompanying The Glare is a punch in the gut.

But if that wasn’t enough, the secondary melody of Rose’s theme plays prominently during Pearl’s heartbreaking retread of her conversation with Rose (note here the return of signature phrase “Please understand”), and the theme for Rose’s legacy (as heard in Lars and the Cool Kids and An Indirect Kiss) provides an extra dose of relief and sadness to soaring strings of the episode’s final sequence.

A few episodes now have ended with a cut to black instead of the traditional star wipe. In Warp Tour and Alone Together, the endings’ abruptness matches their scenes’ loud drama. On the Run has a similarly noisy conclusion, but this time it’s revving back up after the characters’ conflict is resolved, a reminder that Kindergarten has a lot more to say. Winter Forecast has my favorite, a peaceful version that doesn’t wish to interrupt a lovely moment with a special effect. Rose’s Scabbard is yet another beast: a non-ending that shows that despite the resolution of this episode, Pearl is nowhere near finished processing her grief.

Neither love nor loss is easy, and while Steven’s childhood gives him the luxury of simplicity for now—to him, this is certainly a star wipe ending—Pearl’s not so lucky. There may be many character arcs that span multiple episodes, this is the first instance where we see outright that Steven Universe won’t pretend huge issues can be solved in eleven minutes. Pearl’s weary stare before that cut to black tells us something: it’s going to be a while before it’s over, isn’t it?

Future Vision!

Interesting how Steven’s about to make the incredible leap to Pearl’s sky platform but starts plummeting when she glares at him. Almost as if his ability to float correlates with his emotions or something.
This is thankfully not the last time we see Pearl in a top hat.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

This is one of those episodes that invites an entire series rewatch just to catch all the hints leading up to its reveal (soon to be joined by Jailbreak). Signs of Pearl’s feelings are scattered throughout the preceding episodes, which only improves Rose’s Scabbard with every viewing.

And then it becomes one of those episodes that is itself redefined in rewatch. Before A Single Pale Rose, this was my #7. Now it’s #5. If going through every subsequent review I’ve written to rearrange the order of this list doesn’t tell you how great this episode is, nothing will.

(Oh, and it normalizes a queer relationship without drawing any attention to itself, which is great considering queer relationships are normal despite media insisting that they aren’t. Almost forgot how big of a deal that was when this first aired.)

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
Rose’s Scabbard
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
The Test
Future Vision
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure

We’re Mixin’ Up the Line-Up!

**“You’re reading them in order, right?”**

Back in the halcyon days of 2015, when David Bowie and Prince were alive and the world wasn’t on fire, Cartoon Network presented us with our very first Steven Bomb to wrap up Steven Universe’s first season. Marble Madness, pivot episode extraordinaire, set the show up perfectly for its final stretch, and what ensued was a tautly paced week of ratcheting tension culminating in an epic two-part finale and its immediate aftermath.

However, to achieve this goal, the network slipped four episodes out of the final line-up. Here’s the intended order, courtesy of Ian Jones-Quartey, that was eventually used for the official DVD release (minus Say Uncle):

Open Book, Shirt Club, Say Uncle, and Story for Steven were shunted to the beginning of Season 2, which created a couple of continuity issues: Garnet retains her pre-finale look in Shirt Club, and the episodes’ title cards lack the rubble visible in early Season 2 openers.

Considering this, and the creators’ intent, many fans prefer the official order of episodes. While that’s fine by me, my reviews are going to be written in the show’s aired order instead. Here’s why!

Most obviously,
the aired order is the order that I (and many of us) first watched the show, and it left a terrific first
impression. Streaming services like Hulu, where I rewatch the episodes,
maintain this shifted format as well. Many new fans watching the show legally
will likely continue to see it in this revamped order.

But most importantly, I find the original pacing to be perfect, while the intended order grinds us down to a halt after Marble Madness sets up a tense endgame. Rose’s Scabbard shows Pearl on edge after Peridot’s return, and The Message is essentially a point of no return, but the moved episodes have nothing to do with the Homeworld invasion and give no indication that the Gems are worried about it, even subconsciously. The intended airing sees all the air go out of the balloon for four full episodes, and The Message has to reinflate it rather than reinforce it.

I would also argue that all four skipped episodes work better where they’re placed in Season 2. Open Book coming later shows a more realistic time period for Steven to have properly finished a massive book series after Marble Madness (otherwise we’re to believe he really plowed his way through in just two episodes despite the chaos around him, and understood it correctly after all those misfires), and gives us a nice breather from the Homeworld Arc between Full Disclosure and Joy Ride. Shirt Club coming later lets us spend some time with Mayor Dewey and Buck by themselves before putting them together. Say Uncle…really can go anywhere, so might as well not have it interrupt the pacing.

But it’s Story for Steven that really pushes me over the edge on where to put this episode cluster. I love that we only see a full look of Rose once, as a glimpse, in the middle of Season 1. Contrasting this concrete link to the past, every other image of her is indirect: her closed-eye iconography, Amethyst’s shapeshifting, and Pearl’s holo-cast are shadows of the Gem that looms so large over the series.

Less is definitely more at this stage in the show, and having her show up in a full flashback takes all the oomph out of Season 1′s restrained portrayal. Steven Universe is a show segmented into fifty-odd-episode chunks—Season 1A and 1B are functionally identical to Season 2 and 3, respectively—and moving Story for Steven makes Season 2/3 feel like the start of a new chapter, a refocus on Rose that will continue to develop her character until it culminates in the devastating Pink Diamond revelation. Season 4/5 then deals with the aftermath of Steven learning this news until it culminates in everyone, Diamonds included, learning Rose was Pink Diamond.

Story for Steven’s intended airing order also gives us almost no time to dwell on the reveal of Pearl’s feelings in Rose’s Scabbard before making a joke from it. I even love how the Gems’ reaction to Steven’s idea for a fence in Full Disclosure works as foreshadowing rather than a callback. When I rewatched the series “correctly,” this is the episode that really didn’t fit.

Don’t get me wrong, I can see the opposite viewpoint. I imagine many people prefer Joy Ride to immediately follow Full Disclosure to add the same tension to finding Peridot that I prefer in the end of Season 1 (even though that tension dissipates regardless in Season 2′s first half). Buck’s behavior in Joy Ride may not feel as earned without bonding with Steven in Shirt Club. You might want more Rose ASAP, and enjoy Story for Steven’s link between Steven hanging in Greg’s van watching videos with the start of The Message. Hell, you might want every episode to be Say Uncle, I don’t know you! And the creator’s intention certainly sounds like what everyone should go for (even though a keen eye might notice that we, like the bulk of the internet, have already switched Warp Tour and Alone Together from the intended order to the aired order).

But Steven, Universally comes from a place of love, and I love the show the way it was released. Once a piece of art is out there, it’s out there, and if Open Book teaches us anything, it’s that folks can still be friendly when they disagree about elements of a story they like.

I’m not gonna write the reviews of moved episodes in a bubble, and will acknowledge oddities created by the shifts throughout this strange segment of Steven Universe’s history. But beginning with Rose’s Scabbard (which is indisputably Episode 45, by the way) the first Steven Bomb will be detonated in the same order it was all the way back in 2015.

Episode 44: Marble Madness

“That’s okay! I don’t know anything all the time!”

It’s, like, his whole life.

A common complaint about Steven is that, in his own words, he “never asks follow-up questions.” Indeed, many of the show’s “mysteries” are just things Steven hasn’t openly wondered about. Bismuth would’ve arrived ages earlier if Steven had asked anyone about the weird bubbled gem in Lion’s mane, and we might know the contents of the unmentioned treasure box as well. While the Crystal Gems might keep mum about the more painful details, and Pearl was physically unable to talk about major aspects of the past, they’d surely be able to answer basic lore questions, like what the massive fusion whose likeness encases the Temple was called.

But if it was that easy, this would be a pretty boring show. And beyond Steven Universe existing in a medium that requires certain suspensions of disbelief for its pacing and tension to work, I can easily forgive Steven’s gaps in curiosity as the normal behavior of a kid his age. He’s not watching a cartoon and thirsty for worldbuilding, he’s living in said world and getting by just fine. How many of you circa age thirteen (mental age a bit younger) were burning with questions about what your parents did before you were born? And if you’re in that group, how would that curiosity be affected by living in a world where literal magic exists to distract you?

Regardless, this occasionally frustrating trait gets a full reversal in Marble Madness that neatly sets up Season 1′s endgame. Suddenly Steven’s got questions galore, and it’s the Gems whose knowledge is blinded by lack of curiosity. We haven’t seen a “Steven isn’t taken seriously” plot since Future Vision, and while Marble Madness is a low-key variant (Steven never gets upset at his treatment, the Gems aren’t too condescending) it’s vital to keep this plot point alive as the finale approaches.

Marble Madness isn’t so much a set-up episode as it is a pivot. It certainly has all the pros and cons of a table setter, ratcheting up tension and preparing the viewer for the season’s endgame without providing much internal resolution; the inversion of the star wipe ending practically screams “But wait, there’s more!” Still, a good portion of its runtime is devoted to callbacks to preceding episodes in a way that doesn’t prepare us for the future, but acknowledges how we got to this point.

It isn’t just the references to Warp Tour, which are plentiful. Peridot’s return is bound to draw comparisons on its own, but we also follow the same multi-location structure as the Crystal Gems hunt down Peridot’s robonoids, visiting Mask Island, Lion’s desert, and finally Kindergarten. Kindergarten, of course, harks to On the Run, and after a brief recap of the area (courtesy of Pearl, cue another “of course”) we quietly see how uncomfortable Amethyst gets upon realizing its connection to the invaders.

Peridot brings up the Red Eye from all the way back in Laser Light Cannon (which we’re primed to think about from Maximum Capacity, by the way), as well as the Crying Breakfast Friends sticker that brings us back to Space Race. Steven’s love of funky flow from Bubble Buddies makes a return. and his newfound love of books, prompted by Fusion Cuisine’s TV Ban and shown in On the Run and Maximum Capacity, makes up the episode’s entire subplot.

A more refined, intense version of the callback/set-up pivot episode is coming soon in The Return, but Marble Madness acquits itself well enough. Still, between the weight of its pivotal role and its attempt to make room for its own plot, it buckles a bit. Again, there’s no real resolution within the episode itself: Steven’s arc is about wanting to know more in spite of the Gems wanting to punch their way through the problem, but he doesn’t actually get the satisfaction of learning anything by the end. The Crystal Gems already knew Peridot was connected to the robonoids, and while we now vaguely know that Kindergarten’s involved (something eagle-eared viewers already heard in Warp Tour, mind you) there are zero details beyond this. Really, Peridot learns way more than Steven does: Gems are still around (which sets up this season’s endgame), humans are still around (which sets up Season 4′s endgame), and there’s a single group responsible for breaking all her stuff and putting bizarre icons on warp pads.

In terms of looking ahead, this is wonderful. We’ve seen the Crystal Gems worried before, but now we know just how out of their depth they really are compared to Homeworld. Throughout the episode (and the series), the camera looks up at the Gems and down on Steven when they converse, given their relative sizes; even when they’re confused, the Gems are the authority here. Peridot looming over everyone ramps up this effect to a frightening degree, even when she’s complaining about bureaucratic jargon—and retroactively the scene is even stronger considering Peridot’s own issues with height.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl don’t know anything about this new Homeworld threat, and while Steven may be able to relate, uncertainty a scary thing in such a dangerous situation. I love that Garnet and Pearl are far more upset than Amethyst during the hunts, given their firsthand experience (and Pearl’s unease with not knowing stuff). The Gems have been on edge since Warp Tour, but it’s about to accelerate to outright panic, and this is an important step in that direction.

Buuuuut in terms of Marble Madness on its own, this conclusion is disappointing. This may be the point, as it leaves us itching for more, but any lesson about the importance of inquisitiveness is undermined by the Crystal Gems failing to gain information, Steven ostensibly causing more harm than good by revealing that Gems remain on Earth, and Garnet chastising his “pretty bad idea.”

This isn’t to say I dislike Marble Madness. I’m thrilled we go back down to Kindergarten, and get our first taste of what will later be remade into the eerie Gem Shard theme in Keeping It Together. I love confirming that Peridot is just a flunkie, even in her visually spectacular Andross form, and I’m all in on her thematic connection to robotic hands—particularly the way her robonoid transforms into one by rearranging its legs. The fraying Gems are depicted outstandingly, between Pearl’s aforementioned ranting and Garnet’s terse frustration. And Steven gets to be doofy without devolving into Annoying Steven, which was a real possibility in an episode where his inelegance endangers the team.

But best of all, we get Connie’s subplot. As a librarian and veteran bookseller, I’m all about booktalking. For those not in The Biz (god I’m cool), booktalking isn’t simply talking about books (although I mean I also love that) but pitching a book to a potential reader in a way that excites, but doesn’t spoil. A good booktalk is one that’s adapted to the listener and takes their values into account, and a good librarian or bookseller can pick up on what books make a good fit.

Connie’s a hell of a booktalker, and her rich description of The Unfamiliar Familiar—Book 1 of The Spirit Morph Saga—reveals the crew’s love of His Dark Materials: Lisa’s name is interchangeable with Lyra, and familiars bear a strong resemblance to Phillip Pullman’s daemons (down to Archimicarus’s absurd name evoking Lyra’s own Pantalaimon). There’s also hints of A Wrinkle in Time, another favorite of Connie’s, in Lisa’s missing father, although honestly that’s also getting into Subtle Knife territory.

Beyond the introduction, Connie’s exuberance over her favorite book series hits me where I live. It’s not much different from her regular exuberance (if Grace Rolek’s read on a post-explosion “I love hanging out at your place” is any indication), but seeing it transform into trepidation as she hopes against hope that Steven likes it as much as she does, and frustration when he doesn’t get basic elements of reading a series, confirms that she’s One Of Us.

As with the main plot, Connie’s book adventures don’t actually resolve here; again, this episode is beholden to the future at the expense of the present. This crew can usually do enough in eleven minutes to get a sense of completion even when there’s obviously more to come, and no matter how great certain elements of Marble Madness is, when a episode that isn’t a two-parter lacks closure at its ending it can be really

Future Vision!

Dr. Maheswaran’s half right: “Steven Universe” is Steven’s real name, but Gem Harvest teaches us that Greg changed his own surname from the way cooler “De Mayo.”
Mentioned briefly above, but Steven’s list of humans comes roaring back out of nowhere to set up Aquamarine and Topaz’s string of kidnappings that consume the end of Season 4. It’s so distant and so specific that I Am My Mom spares time for an actual flashback to Marble Madness; this is a J.K. Rowling-level Chekhov’s Minor Detail, and I love it.

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

Connie. Buddy. You can’t read from the middle of the book and pretend you’ve just started.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Again, I like this one a lot, but its flawed conclusion on a structural level harms it more than episodes like Maximum Capacity, whose conclusions I found flawed on a story level. As part of a binge, Marble Madness is great. But on its own, it needs to end at least one of its two plots, and no amount of book love can push it into the Top Ten.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Winter Forecast
On the Run
Warp Tour
Maximum Capacity

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2 The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
The Test
Future Vision
Marble Madness

Like ‘em

Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club
3. Fusion Cuisine
2. House Guest
1. Island Adventure